The Biggest Trades of 2022
By: DatBoiFuzz
Fuck the preamble, you all know the drill. We’re reevaluating ten trades from three years ago. Let’s get into it.
A reminder, our money winners the last three years:
- 2022: 1) Siegrist 2) Squirt 3) Jerry
- 2023: 1) Jerry 2) Caleb 3) Zer
- 2024: 1) Fuzz 2) Darren 3) Brent
10.
Why Fuzz made the trade:
I felt like Moore was stuck in QB purgatory on the Panthers while Johnson was quietly having a better season. Disgusting that I’m the one to throw in the sweetener.
Why Kevin made the trade:
Hell idk then I was probably bored lol.
Analysis:
After 2024, this has become incredibly lopsided. AJ Brown needs to get Diontae some book recommendations.
Current KTC valuation:
8,400(Kevin) v 1,400
My ruling: Kevin
9.
Why Zer made the trade:
Sell high opportunity on a boom/bust WR.
Why Vito made the trade:
Got caught up in the Gabe Davis hype and was looking to collect young players and picks.
Analysis:
Remember when dudes were cool with giving up a 1st for Gabe Davis? Wild stuff.
Current KTC valuation:
7,600(Zer) v 4,000
My ruling: Zer
8.
Why Vito made the trade:
Caleb and I were working out trades on St Pattys Day in the Oregon District as one does. I was down on Baker. Hours later after the dynasty trade the Browns made the unfortunate trade for Watson.
Why Caleb made the trade:
I was pissed the Browns signed Watson and Baker was being pushed out. I was confident Baker would eventually be a starter somewhere else. This was heavily influenced by many green beers on St Patty’s day and my way of coping with the Browns’ shitty decision. 10/10, would do again.
Analysis:
Baker looked like he was destined to be a career backup when this went down, but it turns out he was a baller all along. Only one man could have seen this result coming: Caleb fucking Stammen. After two straight top ten seasons for Baker and a runner-up season for the Golden Gods, I tip my cap to you sir. This trade has gone from a baffling disaster to…
Current KTC valuation:
6,500(Vito) v 5,400
My ruling: Even
7.
Why Fuzz made the trade:
I thought Mixon was going to crash in value sooner rather than later, so tiering down to Lenny while turning a 2nd and a 3rd into a 1st felt like a shrewd move.
Why Brandon made the trade:
I would give myself an A+. Show me someone with no ego and I’ll show you a big loser. Sorry losers and haters, but my IQ is one of the highest – and you all know it! Please don’t feel so stupid or insecure, it’s not your fault. I think Viagra is wonderful if you need it, if you have medical issues, if you’ve had surgery. I’ve just never needed it. Frankly, I wouldn’t mind if there were an anti-Viagra, something with the opposite effect. I’m not bragging. I’m just lucky. I don’t need it. Crooked Fuzz is one of the worst and biggest losers of all time. My style of deal-making is quite simple and straightforward. I aim very high, and then I just keep pushing and pushing and pushing to get what I’m after. I like thinking big. I always have. To me it’s very simple: if you’re going to be thinking anyway, you might as well think big. Most people think small, because most people are afraid of success, afraid of making decisions, afraid of winning. And that gives people like me a great advantage.
Analysis:
Mixon is still putting up great numbers, Fournette is out of the league, and Bigsby and Kincaid have roughly the same value. Good process with bad results for your humble writer.
Current KTC valuation:
7,000(Brandon) v 3,700
My ruling: Brandon
6.
Why Zer made the trade:
I believe this was right after Tua came off a 38pt game. Liked the offense as a whole. TLaw had been underwhelming. Then the concussions happened…
Why Kevin made the trade:
Hopium and homerism.
Analysis:
The top prize of the Great Tank of 2020, Trevor Lawrence, gets traded to a Jags homer for the hot QB of the moment in Tua. After a series of head injuries and disappointing seasons all around, it’s still hard to say who “won” this trade, if anyone.
Current KTC valuation:
7,300(Kevin) v 6,100
My ruling: Both lost
5.
Why Zer made the trade:
Unloaded an older back in Mostert, and an injury prone back in Mitchell for a young back with little competition and a 2nd.
Why Caleb made the trade:
I needed a RB that would put up numbers immediately (Mostert) and more depth (Mitchell). Little did I know the 49ers would ass blast me by trading for CMC. Then of course, Mitchell would get hurt again. No surprise there.
Analysis:
It was hard to predict that 2nd to turn into a player like LaPorta, but that is the risk you take when you turn picks and young players into win-now vets. At least Caleb got one good season out of Mostert in a 2nd place ’23 finish.
Current KTC valuation:
8,800(Zer) v 3,500
My ruling: Zer
4.
Why Brent made the trade:
I was in the midst of a historical ass-blasting. Some are saying it was the biggest and most beautiful ass-blasting they have ever witnessed. Hopkins and Thielen were two of the last remaining healthy starters on a roster desperate for some youth, and logger was making a run at a championship.
Why Logger made the trade:
Christian Watson was ass until that week I traded brunt.
Analysis:
One of two win-now trades for Logger that didn’t lead to very much winning. Stay tuned for Part Deux a little later.
Current KTC valuation:
9,900(Brent) v 3,800
My ruling: Brent
3.
Why Siegrist made the trade:
Thought Higgins market value was higher than my personal value and wanted to capitalize. Too bad brandin cooks did a gainer off a fuckin cliff after this.
Why Vito made the trade:
Same premise as most of my trades that year. I was in full rebuild and Eric was win now. Trying to collect young players and picks.
Analysis:
This was a big win-now move that paid off(?) with a title for the Cucks, but oh boy does BTJ and Higgins look like a tasty duo today.
Current KTC valuation:
18,600(Vito) v 14,600
My ruling: Even
2.
Why Fuzz made the trade:
I had developed a strategy of trading for all of Darren’s 1st’s, and used his current 1.01 as a chip to acquire next year’s 1.01 in a loaded ’23 class . Giving the 1.14 and a scrub named Nico Collins to get to 1.06 sweetened the deal enough. This was before Breece Hall blew up the combine.
Why Darren made the trade:
Man oh man did Kenny’s tiny hands get me wet. And once I saw the single TD catch of Nico’s rookie year, I knew I had to get on that hype rocket lickety split.
Analysis:
Who would have thought that George Pickens and Nico Collins would glow up so spectacularly? This was the source of a lot of consternation at the time but has worked out well for both the 2024 champion and runner-up.
Current KTC valuation:
17,400(Fuzz) v 13,000 (18,000 with Breece over Pickett)
My ruling: Even
1.
Why Logger made the trade:
I was trying to win a championship 🏆
Why Rindler made the trade:
I knew my roster was old and shitty and this offer was too good to turn down. Shortly after, I lost my will to manage a tanking team and decided to grow out my hair and rededicate my life to pumping iron. Some of us just don’t have the heart for the tank, I guess.
Analysis:
An unholy value swap that makes you want to avert your eyes, throw your phone across the room and go find your children to hug them and tell them that you love them. Let these two Logger trades be a lesson to anyone who thinks they can “win now” by trading picks for Fox’s #1 color broadcaster.
Current KTC valuation:
14,800(Rindler) v 3,200
My ruling: RIP Logger