Baby Zay’s 2024 Rookie Mock Draft
Ya’ll know the drill. We’re stuck in the purgatory style gap between the Super Bowl and the NFL draft, so it’s time for Isaiah’s rookie mock. Easter is around the corner and Zay has been carefully refining his egg-hunting skills, so this seemed like a natural fit for his mock.
Position groups this year were determined by egg color:
- QBs = Yellow
- RBs = Red
- WRs = Green and Blue
- TEs = Pink
Let’s get into the results…
Pick 1.01 (Logger) – Malik Nabers, WR
Turn on the tape, and it won’t take long to realize Nabers moves differently than his peers. His body control and route-running potential are already good enough to stand out in the pros. He’s a future focal point of an NFL passing attack. While Logger forgoing a top QB is unlikely, Nabers is a very appealing WR prospect with massive upside.
Pick 1.02 (Brandon) – Jayden Daniels, QB
Brandon sucks at fantasy football, and could use all the help he can get. A Konami Code QB like Daniels does just that. The dual-threat quarterback had a ton of yards from scrimmage last year and had one of the lowest turnover-worthy play rates in the nation. This year, he focused on playing better under pressure while pushing the ball downfield more often — and he’s done both at career-high levels. His growth in all areas is encouraging and shows that he could be a QB to invest in.
Pick 1.03 (Jimmy) – Caleb Williams, QB
The Cheekburgers hit big on CJ Stroud last year, and are poised to take another big swing on a QB in this draft – especially with the Patriots finally giving up on Mac Jones (ZAPPE SZN??). Caleb Williams has been one of college football’s top playmakers for three years. He is always a threat to advance the football with his arms and legs. The NFL covets quarterbacks who can create on their own, and no one does that better than Williams.
Pick 1.04 (Vito) – Marvin Harrison Jr, WR
Imagine if former Colts legend Marvin Harrison Sr. was 4 inches taller and 20 pounds heavier. That’s a good way to explain his son as a prospect. MHJ’s technique is beyond his years. He has elite body control, reliable hands and WR1 athletic ability. While the Anna Apollos have more pressing needs, I wouldn’t be surprised by them selecting a WR of Harrisons’ caliber at 1.04.
Pick 1.05 (Vito) – Rome Odunze, WR
Ok, back-to-back WR’s for a team that doesn’t have a starting Running Back on the roster is egregious at best. Odunze brings top-tier size, speed and strength to the receiver position. He has consistently dominated at the catch point during his career, and put on a solid combine while showing off his “lunchbox” mentality by logging 3-cone reps long after the event concluded.
Pick 1.06 (Darren) – Xavier Worth, WR
Looks like even Isaiah wasn’t quite sure about this pick. Who will be starting at QB for the Wichsers’ next season? Ah fuck it, I’m sure Darren will figure that out later. Xavier Worthy is a former track star who has some of the best getaway speed in the country, logging a record-breaking 4.21-second 40-yard dash at the combine. He’s also getting more reliable using that speed to stretch the field before he gets the ball in his hands.
Pick 1.07 (Squirt) – Trey Benson, RB
The Burrow of Brooklyn have a slight need for another dependable RB, so this pick makes some sense. Benson is a back who has the vision, patience and footwork to consistently find open space, and then the playmaking mentality to make guys miss when he gets there. With adequate long speed, as well, Benson presents an alluring skill set and RB1 potential.
Pick 1.08 (Logger) – Bock Bowers, TE
Rumors have been circulating that Logger loves everything about Brock Bowers – his elite TE play, his ravishing style, and his authoritative stance to name a few. Bowers has been the best tight end in college football over the past two seasons. He might not get picked as early as Kyle Pitts, but many think he’s a better prospect because of what he can do as a blocker in addition to his receiving ability.
Pick 1.09 (Delzeith) – Drake Maye, QB
The Titties made a respectable push for the playoffs last year, but came up just short. Is this team truly ready to compete or did they simply catch a hot streak? Taking a shot on a QB here makes some sense as they continue to build their foundation for the future. Maye possesses ideal NFL arm talent and can hit just about any throw asked of him at the pro level with velocity and ball placement. He still puts the ball in harm’s way with more turnovers than you’d like, but the magnitude of the good he can do as a passer far outweighs the bad.
Pick 1.10 (Fuzz) – Jonathon Brooks, RB
In contrast to the Titties, the Wimps are undoubtedly poised to take a shot in 2024, and a rookie RB can immediately contribute if put into the right situation (an offense lead by anyone other than Arthur Smith). At six feet tall and over 200 pounds, Brooks shows impressive wiggle, agility, body control and long speed for a player with his build. He’s been one of the most productive backs in the country and is in the conversation to be the first back selected.
Pick 1.11 (Vito) – Adonai Mitchell, WR
A THIRD WR? Nah fam, I ain’t buying what baby Zay’s selling. Mitchell is a smooth route runner for a guy 6-foot-4. His body control and ability to change speeds throughout his routes give him a natural ability to create separation. Plus, his size and length make him one of the best red-zone threats in the country in terms of efficiency.
Pick 1.12 (Franzer) – Brian Thomas Jr, WR
As one of the youngest teams in Shadynastys by average age (the youngest, pry?), the Doughboys certainly may look to add yet another promising WR to the foundation of their roster. Thomas is one of a handful of burners in this class who can really stretch the field. He’s a major part of why LSU’s offense is top-three in the FBS in passing yards per game, passing yards per attempt and passing touchdowns. His route tree isn’t as diverse as Nabors’, but he is improving in that area.
Pick 1.13 (Vito) – JJ McCarthy, QB
Finally something other than WR. Are the Apollos ready to call it quits on Bryce Young after an uninspiring rookie campaign? If so, then taking a shot on McCarthy makes sense. He has the arm to succeed at the NFL level, and can hit the “Sunday throws” with both distance and velocity.
Pick 1.14 (Darren) – Troy Franklin, WR
This roster still has a lot of holes, and a young WR could be a good addition for the Wichsers. Franklin will be a top target for teams looking to add a receiver who will allow them to push the ball downfield consistently. He has smooth strides and good top speed to be a vertical threat in the pros, and his route running became more polished in 2023.