2024 Season Preview
Written by: DatBoiFuzz
I’m releasing this a little early this year in anticipation of my free time and sanity being stolen in mid August, nor do I want to update throughout training camp. You all know the drill. Teams are ranked in tiers according to how I think each stands in the hierarchy of the 2024 season only. Each position group is rated on a scale of Elite to Shit, according to both high-end talent and depth. If anyone is butthurt about their placement, just remember that I’m a dumb-dumb and had Caleb ranked 12th last year (he finished 2nd). Good luck to you all.
Tier 1: The Favorites
#1 West Carrollton Wimps
Has Own ‘25 1st: No (Vito)
‘23 Preseason Rank/Finish: 2nd/6th
QB: (Elite) Josh Allen is a locked in top 5 QB regardless of the talent around him. The rest of the room is questionable but offers plenty of depth. Deshaun Watson offers the most upside but is three years removed from his last great season. Matthew Stafford provides a solid backup plan and Bo Nix some additional depth and unknown upside. This is one of two teams with four projected starters at QB, and three of them have previously had top 5 seasons.
RB: (Good) Bijan Robinson and Breece Hall make up the best one-two punch at RB in the league. Both are young workhorse backs with tons of receiving upside, in offenses that should now (please God) be at least league average. The depth behind them is conditional at best. Jerome Ford should see some carries while Chubb gets back to full speed, while Eric Gray has a chance to earn carries in a wide open NYG roster. Justice Hill and Braelon Allen will likely need an injury to be relevant.
WR: (Elite) Jamarr Chase, Chris Olave, and Davante Adams are all locked in #1s for their offenses. Cooper Kupp and Diontae Johnson should be high floor flex plays, while Josh Downs and Xavier Worthy provide some young upside. One of the best (and most valuable) position groups in the league.
TE: (Average) There are three young TEs in Brock Bowers, Luke Musgrave, and Greg Dulcich; all of whom have flashed or are expected to flash. Hard to say if there will be a reliable option in this group, but the potential is certainly there. Noah Fant is another sneaky option in Seattle after the departure of Will Dissy.
Overall: I’ll try not to toot my own horn too much here, but this is a tantalizing collection of high-end talent, depth, and youth. The Wimps deserve to be considered in the top tier of Shadynastys, and in my opinion, the top overall spot as well.
#2 Belmont Bukkake
Has Own ‘25 1st: No (Darren)
‘23 Preseason Rank/Finish: 1st/5th
QB: (Good) Probably the best starting QB duo in the league with Lamar Jackson and Kyler Murray. Unfortunately there is not another starting QB behind them, which is concerning given their play styles. A solid vet (such as Kirk Cousins) would take this group from good to elite, but Brent seems to prefer stockpiling backup QBs for now, like Michael Penix Jr..
RB: (Elite) Christian McCaffrey and Derrick Henry project as the every week starters here and should put up huge numbers if they can stay healthy. Nick Chubb should be a solid flex play by the second half of the season. Tyjae Spears, Antonio Gibson, and Elijah Mitchell all have some flex appeal but will likely be stuck behind at least one other back in their team’s pecking order.
WR: (Elite) This group is a really nice mix of vets and youth, headlined of course by Justin Jefferson. Stefon Diggs and Calvin Ridley are the other veteran options, while Malik Nabers, Zay Flowers, and Christian Watson give youth and upside. As if that’s not enough, Treylon Burks and Chase Claypool are some high upside dart throws as well (who will likely be shipped off as soon as they flash). Probably the most talented position group in the league, though none of these guys seem poised for career years in 2024.
TE: (Good) Evan Engram is a rock solid starter after leading all TEs in targets last year. Dallas Goedert makes for a solid backup as well.
Overall: It’s hard to believe a roster this loaded is not the overall favorite, but I’ll give them the honor of co-favorites for this year. I think what holds me back from the top spot is that age-cliff looming on the horizon. With an average starter’s age of 27.5 (still only 5th oldest in the league), we could start seeing a sharp decline from key players like Henry, Diggs, and Ridley. Are Brent’s young studs ready to pick up the slack?
Tier 2: The Contenders
#3 Dayton Doughboys
Has Own ‘25 1st: No (Logger)
‘23 Preseason Rank/Finish: 5th/3rd
QB: (Good) Jordan Love was one of the biggest surprises of last year, finishing as QB5 overall. Not bad for a waiver pickup. Tua Tagovailoa led the league in passing yards in 2023 and is a strong bet to repeat that performance, though he only finished as QB11 due to his non-existent rushing production. With his injury history, perhaps that is for the best. The Doughboys currently have no backup option behind those two.
RB: (Good) Lots of depth here, yet without a reliable workhorse. Devon Achane, Rachaad White, Javonte Williams, and Jonathon Brooks will each get all the carries they can handle (which might not be very many). Brian Robinson and Zach Charbonnet are each in split backfields but should still be flex worthy.
WR: (Elite) The best young core of receivers in the league: CeeDee Lamb, Garrett Wilson, and Jaylen Waddle. Yowza. Zer has some solid depth behind them as well. Adam Theilen and Darnell Mooney are the vets of the group, while Jayden Reed and Ricky Pearsall are the young upside options. It’s probably time to give up on Rashod Bateman and Elijah Moore, but on this depth chart they are pure luxury.
TE: (Good) Daniel Bellinger looks like the leader of this group after the retirement of Waller, though we’ll see what kind of passing volume the Giants will have. Ben Sinnot is a solid 2nd round rookie option in a wide open Washington depth chart. Obviously, be on the lookout for any sleeper TEs to get added to this group as well. Oh, and also Kyle Pitts.
Overall: Maybe it’s just because Jordan Love and Jayden Reed are on the roster, but when I look at the Doughboys I can’t help but think of the Packers. Young, deep, exciting, but maybe not quite ready to go all the way. You get the feeling that a few of these young players are going to break out into superstars, but it’s hard to pick which ones just yet. If Franzer can set the right lineups this year (or turn some of this young depth into established studs), the Doughboys are a darkhorse for the #1 overall seed this year.
#4 Anna Apollos
Has Own ‘25 1st: Yes
‘23 Preseason Rank/Finish: 6th/11th
QB: (Good) The other team with four projected starters at QB. If any of them had proven an elite ceiling yet, this would be the best QB room in the league. Anthony Richardson is the best bet to break into the top 5 conversation, though time will tell if he is on the Josh Allen career trajectory or the Justin Fields. Jared Goff and Geno Smith are the safe veteran floor plays with limited upside. And then there’s Drake Maye. At one time pushing Caleb Williams for the 1.01 of 2024, Maye somehow fell to the Apollos at 1.05. He will likely struggle in a crappy Patriots offense, but may prove to be the most valuable player in this group by year’s end.
RB: (Good) There are two locked in starters for this group in Jonathon Taylor and Joe Mixon. Zamir White looks primed for a healthy workload in Las Vegas, though that’s still just a projection. After them, we are likely looking at contingent value only. Marshawn Lloyd, Kendre Miller, and Khalil Herbert should all see a few touches a game, and a lot more with an injury.
WR: (Good) Solid depth here but lacking a true WR1. Deebo Samuel, Devonta Smith, Tee Higgins, and Tank Dell are all startable but unlikely to lead their teams in targets. Jerry Jeudy, Xavier Leggette, and Roman Wilson all have some upside but very low floors.
TE: (Good) The TE Whisperer is in really good shape here. Dalton Kincaid is primed for a big second year breakout after the departure of Stefon Diggs. Tyler Conklin is a decent backup option in what should be a decent Jets offense. Isaiah Likely and Chig Okonkwo are young, interesting stashes.
Overall: The Apollos finally addressed the RB position by trading for Taylor and Mixon during the draft, and they look ready to make a push for the title. They have terrific depth and the pedigree of players to make it happen. Yet they are still very young and may be a year away from juggernaut status. That is, unless Vito turns back to the trade market. With two ‘25 1sts and plenty of interesting young players, no one is better positioned to snag a stud from a team looking to tank. Does he have the balls to push even more chips into this year?
Tier 3: The Pretenders
#5 Mason Minutemen
Has Own ‘25 1st: Yes
‘23 Preseason Rank/Finish: 3rd/1st
QB: (Average) Patrick Mahomes makes up for a lot of sins. And that’s good, because this room is a shit show beyond him. Russell Wilson is still the QB2 for the Minutemen, but he may be QB2 for the Steelers before too long as well. I’m not ready to write him off completely yet; there is still a path to relevance for Wilson. He has been too good for too long to be as washed as he looked in Denver. But this is not the kind of player you want to rely on for a fantasy playoffs run. There is no third option for the Minutemen.
RB: (Average) This is still a pretty solid room, but we could look at these guys much differently by year’s end. Alvin Kamara finished as RB14 despite missing four games, but is entering his age 29 season. DeAndre Swift and David Montgomery should both get plenty of touches but are both in questionable situations (rookie QB, new team, backfield competition). Rico Dowdle might get some solid work this year. Then again, if he sucks (seems likely), he might not.
WR: (Elite) A sexy group of veteran #1 options (Tyreek Hill, Brandon Aiyuk, DK Metcalf, Amari Cooper), backed up by waiver wire fodder. Demario Douglas and Greg Dortch are sneaky candidates for targets on bad rosters, but I can’t imagine feeling confident starting either yet. Still, this might be the best top four WRs in the league.
TE: (Elite) Travis Kelce and Mark Andrews. Still the best TE room and it’s not close.
Overall: It feels dirty to put the defending champs in the “Pretenders” tier, but this is not the bulletproof squad of the last few years. And with the oldest starting lineup by a healthy margin (29.5), it’s not a surprise to see Jerry shopping his dudes around for a potential rebuild. The Minutemen are not approaching the age cliff; they are at the ridge and looking down. It’s not pretty (Hi Logger). And yet, they have Mahomes, they have Kelce, they have HIll. This is still a very dangerous team. With two 2025 1sts in his back pocket, Jerry has options if he wants to plug in the holes and make one last run. The only bad decision, in my opinion, is for him to sit on his hands and do nothing. One way or another, this team should not stay in the “Pretender” tier for long.
#6 Chickasaw Chafed Chodes
Has Own ‘25 1st: Yes
‘23 Preseason Rank/Finish: 4th/4th
QB: (Good) Trevor Lawrence is still the foundational guy here, especially after getting the bag this off-season. He’s definitely not a bust, guys. Daniel Jones should be a solid QB2 for this team, though expect some variance week to week. Gardener Minshew seems to have the inside track for the Raiders job, and at least gives this roster some immaculate vibes. Sam Howell faded late last year but still finished as QB12, and joined a Seattle team where entrenched starter Geno Smith is coming off of a disappointing season. Overall, there’s some solid depth but this room is not very sexy (except Minshew obviously).
RB: (Good) The Chodes have three really strong options in Saquon Barkley, Travis Etienne, and Ram Stevenson. There are only two RB backing them up, Tank Bigsby and Chris Evans, neither of whom will be flex plays without injury. There’s plenty of time to pick up some surprise depth before the season, but for now this group is a little thin.
WR: (Good) There’s a nice group of receivers here, though they probably lack the upside of the juggernauts above. Puka Nacua somehow leads the way here after a stellar rookie season. DJ Moore and Michael Pittman are two more strong #1 options for their respective teams, though their young QB’s may not be able to propel them to league winner status. Hollywood Brown and Jameson Williams both offer some upside but will need to fit in with their already potent offenses. It’s probably time to give up on Jahan Dotson and Alec Pierce but either could surprise.
TE: (Good) Unfortunately for the Chafed Chodes, T.J. Hockenson isn’t expected to make his season debut until the fantasy playoffs. The good news is that Trey McBride should be able to pick up the slack immediately as the most established receiving option for the Cardinals. If Trey gets hurt, though, it’s likely off to the waiver wire for a starter.
Overall: Definitely not the sexiest team, but there are enough proven producers here to make me think that this will be a playoff team in 2024. Kevin will need a lot of luck to make it through the gauntlet of teams above him, though. A Lawrence MVP campaign would certainly help.
Tier 4: Delusions of Grandeur
#7 Burrow of Brooklyn
Has Own ‘25 1st: Yes
‘23 Preseason Rank/Finish: 10th/9th
QB: (Subpar) Joe Burrow will be a good bet for a mid to low-end QB1 again, hopefully while avoiding injury. If he can’t, this team might have an empty QB slot in the starting lineup. I assume that’s why Squirt feels compelled to roster Jake Browning. With Desmond Ridder and Malik Willis both looking like misses, this team is in desperate need of a QB2.
RB: (Average) 2023 was not a good year for Kenneth Walker or Najee Harris, both of whom saw their workhorse roles downgraded to lead committee roles. Their upside will be limited if they cannot get the volume of previous seasons. Zach Moss and Devin Singletary both look like the frontrunners for touches in wide open backfields. Everyone else in this room will need at least one injury to see more than a couple of touches a game.
WR: (Good) Amon-Ra St. Brown entered bonafide fantasy superstar territory last year, and should continue that production after getting the bag from Detroit. Mike Evans is the definition of stability, putting up his seventh WR1 season in nine years. I see no reason for that to stop in his age 31 season. Terry McLaurin should still see plenty of targets, and Rome Odunze should hopefully come on late in the year at least. Tyler Boyd and Jermaine Burton will likely need an injury to be startable.
TE: (Good) George Kittle has strong target competition, but there should be plenty of points to go around in San Francisco once again. Michael Mayer got cucked by Brock Bowers, but still should get enough snaps to have a few boom weeks. Hayden Hurst has a chance to carve out a role in a new-look Chargers offense.
Overall: QB is the big question mark here, and aside from all of his future picks, there’s little youth or depth to entice a trade partner. Even with a big splash at QB, the Burrow of Brooklyn could be on the outside looking in at the playoffs. Still, this team has some high end talent and could surprise everyone again, like his second place finish in 2022.
#8 Wiesbaden Wichsers
Has Own ‘25 1st: No (Brent)
‘23 Preseason Rank/Finish: 13th/10th
QB: (Average) An adequate room that feels like it’s being held together with duct tape. Kirk Cousins leads the way with his new team in Atlanta, the third franchise to talk themselves into him being the savior and give him the bag. He may have a short leash after they drafted Penix Jr, though. J.J. McCarthy is the heir apparent in Minnesota, though he still needs to beat out Sam Darnold for the starting role. Justin Fields has upside if he can get on the field, as does Jameis Winston.
RB: (Good) Jahmyr Gibbs leads the way here, a first round pick with tons of receiving upside in a great offense. Kyren Wiliams looks like a rock solid second back after finishing last year as RB6, assuming he was not just a flash in the pan. Gus Edwards is 29 and just joined a new team, but looks set to handle a big workload for the Chargers. Trey Benson will try to steal touches from James Conner, if not take the lead job outright. Tyler Allgeire, Chubba Hubbard, and Bucky Irving all have tons of contingent upside.
WR: (Subpar) Nico Collins leads this group after a breakout third year in Houston, though he will have stiff target competition. George Pickens has the opposite situation, where he lost his biggest target competition but has major uncertainty at QB. It gets dicey after those two. Joshua Palmer, Khalil Shakir, Michael Wilson, and Josh Reynolds could all see consistent targets, but none are trustworthy enough to start as of yet.
TE: (Subpar) An uninspiring group. Pat Freiermuth should be the starting option for this team. He has a clear path to lots of targets, but a rather poor offensive environment. Taysom Hill will likely still have some boom weeks, but God bless you if you can predict when they happen.
Overall: Out of the basement and right into the middle of the pack. This team is mercifully young so there is plenty of room for growth and the potential to surprise with a playoff run. But the Wichsers lack both the top end talent and the depth to make a serious bid at the title. They also once again lack their 1st round pick, so it’s full steam ahead for a low playoff seed and first round exit!
#9 Cassella Cucks
Has Own ‘25 1st: No (Jerry)
‘23 Preseason Rank/Finish: 9th/7th
QB: (Good) Dak Prescott is the veteran of this group, coming off his highest scoring season yet. With another year removed from his leg injury and the Cowboys RB room a mess, we might even see him pick up his rushing production again. That walking boot is surely just precautionary. Brock Purdy makes for a terrific QB2 in a hyper-efficient 49ers offense. This room lacks a third QB, making injury luck vital.
RB: (Subpar) Trades and injury have left this room with only two viable starting options. James Cook should see increased opportunities in a Buffalo offense lacking established options, while James Conner will try to keep his grip on the lead back duties from rookie Trey Benson. Expectations are low for J.K. Dobbins, but a return to form from his major injury would be huge for the Cucks. Former 1.01 Clyde Edwards-Helaire is also still here.
WR: (Good) This room is loaded with veteran options. A.J. Brown, Chris Godwin, and DeAndre Hopkins are all easy starts. Tyler Lockett, Jakobi Meyers, and Brandon Cooks should all get enough targets to be worthy flex plays. Youth options are non-existent.
TE: (Subpar) Cole Kmet is likely the starter, but may find himself the odd man out in Chicago most weeks. Jonnu Smith, Jelani Woods, Juwan Johnson, and Erik All inspire little confidence, though maybe one can break through.
Overall: If everyone is healthy, this team can put forth a pretty good starting lineup. But depth looks like a real concern, as does the average age of this roster (28.0, third oldest). We’ve seen worse teams make the playoffs, but if Siegrist had his 1st, I would recommend a tank year.
#10 Oakwood Golden Gods
Has Own ‘25 1st: No (Siegrist)
‘23 Preseason Rank/Finish: 12th/2nd
QB: (Subpar) Baker Mayfield had a resurgence year in Tampa Bay, yet this is somehow still the worst QB room in the league (Logger excluded). Derek Carr will be the other starter, a reliable if uninspiring option. Caleb doesn’t seem to have much confidence in him, as he is currently rostering both of his backups. Aiden O’Connell rounds out the room, though according to the beat reports, he is losing his starting battle to Minshew.
RB: (Average) If there is reason for optimism in this team, this group is it. Josh Jacobs and Isiah Pacheco are the lead backs still in their prime, while Caleb is probably hoping for just one more good year out of Raheem Mostert, Austin Ekeler, and Ezekiel Elliiot. Rookie Tyrone Tracy has a chance to carve out a role with the Giants as well.
WR: (Average) Five WRs in this group should be startable, but I would be shocked if any finished top fourteen. Keenan Allen put up his best year as a pro last year, but now enters a new environment with a rookie QB and lots of target competition. Ladd McConkey seems to be his direct replacement in LA; we will see how fast he can adjust to the pros, if at all. Courtland Sutton and Gabe Davis are a couple of high variance flex plays. And then there is Romeo Doubs. I have no idea what to make of the Green Bay receiver room, but Doubs has as good a shot as any to earn big targets.
TE: (Average) Dalton Schultz figures to be the starter here early on, but may find himself the odd man out in Houston. Mike Gesicki is an interesting option; freshly signed to Cincinnati, he could earn a nice role as a receiver in an offense that just lost Hayden Hurst and Tyler Boyd.
Overall: I know that Caleb finished second last year, but I really just don’t see it with this team. There are viable options for every starting spot, yes; and there is some decent depth as well, old as they are. But this team is absolutely bereft of high-end talent. Baker Mayfield has the highest redraft ADP among all of these players, and he’s being taken in the early fourth round at 55 overall. Would you feel confident in your title chances if you just skipped the first three rounds of a redraft league? I get it, this is fantasy football; crazier things have happened. But I wouldn’t feel confident. Caleb apparently does, though, after trading his ‘25 1st for Josh Jacobs during the rookie draft. Now with the second oldest team in the league, the Golden Gods are all-in for one last ride before all of these former studs are put out to pasture. I admire the moxie, and I’m not going to count them out, but I can’t help but feel that last year’s pleasant surprise was the worst thing to happen for this franchise. This is our next scorched earth teardown.
#11 St. Henry Scallywags
Has Own ‘25 1st: No (Logger)
‘23 Preseason Rank/Finish: 7th/12th
QB: (Good?) Justin Herbert has a new coaching staff and just lost his top two weapons, and Aaron Rodgers is 41 and coming off of an Achilles tear. Two years ago this was a potent duo; the doubts surrounding both today are more than fair. Jacoby Brissett has a chance to begin the year as the Patriots starter, but Drake Maye won’t be denied for long.
RB: (Shit) Tony Pollard should be a decent starter for his new team in Tennesee, but there is other talent in that backfield, and we have seen highly paid vets get buried before (RIP Miles Sanders). There isn’t another viable option at RB for this roster, at least not yet. Blake Corrum and Kimani Vidal will need to beat out Kyren Williams for touches, and McVay is notorious for featuring a lead back as much as possible. Damien Pierce got cucked by Joe Mixon but should still see some touches. That’s about it for this group.
WR: (Average) This group at least has youth. Marvin Harrison Jr. is the most highly coveted rookie WR since Ja’Marr Chase and should be very productive. Curtis Samuel has a chance to lead the Bills in targets (though he has shown no ability to do so for any other team), while Mike Williams will try to claim the #2 role for the Jets. Jaxon Smith-Njigba, Keon Coleman, and Ja’Lynn Polk are all young and highly drafted, but we will see if they can produce this year. If this team wants to make the playoffs, it will need multiple breakouts from this group.
TE: (Average) David Njoku is a pretty decent starter, but really took off after Joe Flacco took over for Watson. The Browns also continue to add receiving talent around him, but Njoku should have his boom weeks regardless. Cade Otton is a fine backup option, though likely touchdown dependent.
Overall: If you squint really hard, this starting lineup can look pretty good. But no team has a thinner margin for error. Will Rodgers look like this old self? Will any of the RBs get enough touches to be startable? Can these young WRs break out? If the answer to any of these questions is “no,” this team does not have the depth to overcome it. The Scallywags feel like they are in the middle of a rebuild, but do not have their pick this year so have no apparent reason to tank. Except if the veterans can’t produce, whatever value they still have is going to disappear. The potential for a playoff run is there, but of all the teams that are trying, this one is positioned the worst.
Tier 6: The Rebuilders
#12 Gem City Titties
Has Own ‘25 1st: Yes
‘23 Preseason Rank/Finish: 11th/8th
QB: (Good) This is a really favorable group for a tanking team. Jalen Hurts is the certified stud here; even if you’re not trying to win, it makes sense to hold onto someone this young and this good. Will Levis and Bryce Young round out the room, two cheap sophomores with starting jobs. If either are good then this team is going to be set at QB for a long time. And if they suck, well, at least the max PPF will be low.
RB: (Subpar) Completely lacking a strong option, though not necessarily talent. Jaylen Warren is a committee back but at least has an established role. Chase Brown and Jaylen Wright are young backs looking to earn touches. D’Onta Foreman could see some work while Chubb gets back to health. Scott apparently does not believe in Javonte Williams, as he holds three backup Denver backs: Jaleel McLaughlin, Samaje Perine, and Blake Watson.
WR: (Subpar) This is a young group with plenty of room to grow. Drake London and Rashee Rice are the only two to have proven production, and still have room to improve as well. AD Mitchell and Quentin Johnston are highly drafted but are still huge question marks. Then we get to dart throws like Trey Palmer, Javon Baker, Jalen McMillan, and Darius Slayton.
TE: (Good) Sam Laporta finished as the TE1 in his rookie season and should continue to put up big numbers in a great Detroit offense. There isn’t really a backup option, but who needs one when you have LaPorta?
Overall: One year into taking over this orphan team and the Titties are headed in the right direction. There’s enough high-end talent here to make them a threat to make the playoffs (like in 2023), but it seems obvious that is not the direction Scott wants this team to go, at least not yet. All of the key assets are young, as are most of the dart throws. With a couple years of drafting highly-touted RBs and some lucky coin flips, this team could be in the playoff picture very quickly. Expect Scott to aggressively shop his non-core guys if they start popping off, lest he find himself outside the top three of the draft again.
#13 Centerville Cheekburgers
Has Own ‘25 1st: Yes
‘23 Preseason Rank/Finish: 8th/13th
QB: (Average) The foundation of any dynasty rebuild is the QB position, and the Cheekburgers are constructing that perfectly. Jim hit the jackpot with C.J. Stroud last year, and he doubled down by spending the 1.03 this year on Jayden Daniels. Stroud may come back down to Earth a bit this season, and Daniels might not be any good at all, but for the moment this looks like a great core for years to come.
RB: (Shit) The Packers were ready to move on from Aaron Jones, but he should still put up good numbers in a talent-deprived Vikings backfield. Speaking of which, Jones’s backup Ty Chandler is here as well and is probably the next best bet to get work, which isn’t saying much. Audric Estime, Jamaal Williams, and AJ Dillon will all fight for roles but could be looking for new teams before the season starts.
WR: (Subpar) At least this group has some youth. Christian Kirk should lead the Jags in targets this season but may see his target share decrease anyway after they added a big free agent and a 1st round WR. Jordan Addison and Rashid Shaheed are #2 options that may struggle with QB issues but should still have some boom weeks. Does Kadarius Toney still count as someone worth mentioning?
TE: (Shit) Hunter Henry is the apparent starter, though he should get benched if either Zach Ertz or rookie Ja’Tavion Sanders pops off.
Overall: Unlike the Titties, the Cheekburgers do not need to worry about making a surprise playoff push. Even if Stroud and Daniels both pop off, this team is so bereft of talent at other positions that Jim should already consider the 1.02 all but locked up. He could definitely make that outcome more certain by moving guys like Aaron Jones and Christian Kirk while they still have value. Or maybe he feels like he needs to hold some vets for a playoff push next season, seeing as he isn’t holding his ‘26 1st. I hope not, because this team seems more than a year away from contention again.
Tier 7: Logger
#14 WrightPatt Chairforce
Has Own ‘25 1st: Oh Yeah
‘23 Preseason Rank/Finish: 14th/14th
QB: (Subpar) Caleb Williams is the only projected starter on this roster. Let’s hope for Logger’s sake he’s not another Trevor Lawrence, or worse.
RB: (Shit) Trey Sermon might be the RB2 for the Colts. Anyway, he’s RB1 for the Chairforce.
WR: (Shit) There’s some nice young players in this group. Brian Thomas Jr., Dontavion Wicks, and Troy Franklin should all earn some targets this year. But none project as high end players yet, and there is not much to get excited about outside of those three.
TE: (Subpar) I suppose Turd Ferguson is a serviceable starter who should see plenty of targets for a Cowboys team who lacks a reliable pass catcher behind CeeDee. He is the only option.
Overall: The Chairforce are in a tier of their own for the second straight year, and there is no end to the tank in sight. But a second straight 1.01 should help, as will his other two 1sts in 2025. For all of the teams staring at that age cliff and thinking they have one more year before they have to tear it down, let this team be a lesson. Thanks again for the $50, Logger.