2022 Season Preview and League Power Rankings
We’re less than two weeks out from our first meaningful NFL action, and that means it’s time to make arbitrary rankings about the probability of impossible to predict outcomes! That’s right, it’s the 2022 Shadynastys season preview!
Below are my personal power rankings. I’ve used several resources including KeepTradeCut, FantasyPros, and FantasyFootballRanker. These rankings are for this season only, and are not representative of dynasty value. Hopefully Brent can post this quickly so there is no breaking news before it posts. I apologize about any complaints or hurt feelings. If you would like to speak with me directly about your complaints, you can reach me at: Datboifuzz69@meatspin.com
The Golden God Tier – The Favorite
1) Mason Minutemen
Previous Season Finish: 2nd
Roster flexibility: Okay
QB: Mahomes and Wilson may be the best one-two punch at quarterback in the league, despite a couple of disappointing (for them) seasons last year. The lack of a third starting option is concerning, but look for Jerry to be aggressive in free agency to fill that hole
RB: The report that Alvin Kamara will likely not be suspended until next year must have been music to our top contender’s ears. Along with another workhorse in David Montgomery, and solid backups with standalone value in Hunt and McKissic, this RB room is a little thin but should be plenty potent if they can stay healthy.
WR: Downgrades at QB for Tyreek Hill and DK Metcalf were not what the Minutemen were hoping to see this off-season, but both should still lead their team in targets. Mike Evans, Brandon Ayuik, Jacobi Meyers, and DeVante Parker round out one of the best WR rooms in the league. Top heavy and deep.
TE: Speaking of, Jerry also gets to roll out the top two Tight Ends from last season in Kelce and Andrews. It almost doesn’t seem fair. Look for Jerry to sell one of these two for a RB if the injury bug starts biting.
Draft Capital: This team is once again all-in for this season. The Minutemen have a 2nd round pick in the next two drafts, and still hasn’t traded any of his shiny new ’25 picks, making this the most draft Capital he has had in a long while. What are you waiting for, Jerry?
Outlook: There is only one team I’m comfortable saying will definitely make the playoffs, and that’s the Minutemen. No other team has this kind of collection of top tier talent in their primes. I have no idea how this team doesn’t have a title yet.
The Gang Tier – The Contenders
2) West Carrollton Wimps
Previous Season Finish: 1st
Roster flexibility: Poor
QB: Headlined by the QB1 for the past two years in Josh Allen, there is a lot of uncertainty in the rest of the quarterback room for the Wimps. Deshaun Watson will be unavailable for the first twelve weeks of the season, and will have a lot of rust to shake off when he does get back on the field. Trey Lance is being given the keys to 49ers offense and offers a tremendous amount of rushing upside, but none of it will matter if he struggles to complete over 60% of his passes; something that Lawrence, Wilson, and Fields all failed to do.
RB: This room has been given a complete facelift from the year before. Saquon Barkley and Lombardi Lenny are the two no-brainer starters, but should an injury occur to either, the rest of this group is being held together with duct tape. The Wimps won it all with Devonta Freeman starting most of the playoffs, and it looks like duct tape may be the strategy again should the oft injured Barkley miss time again this year.
WR: Maybe the best WR group in the league. Chase and Deebo were league winners last year, and DJ Moore and Courtland Sutton both upgraded at QB. There’s a big drop off after those four, though, and like the rest of the Wimps roster, this room will struggle to produce with a significant injury.
TE: Like most teams, the Wimps are living in the Tight End Wasteland. The starter among Noah Fant, Hayden Hurst, and Logan Thomas will likely depend on matchup and availability.
DC: With four 1st round picks in a hotly anticipated ’23 draft class, the Wimps are set up well to stock up on talent next off-season. That is, if they don’t trade them before the deadline to make another title push. This team is severely lacking in depth, but that could change quickly if there is another Gargoyle-esque fire sale.
Outlook: The defending champs, and in this humble writer’s opinion, the best starting lineup outside of Mason. If there is one thing holding this team back from the top tier, it is a terrifying lack of depth. For now, the Wimps are the top competition for the Minutemen.
3) WrightPatt Chairforce
Previous Season Finish: 4th
Roster flexibility: Good
QB: A fascinating room with two high upside quarterbacks who could be out of the league after this season. Tom Brady and Aaron Rodgers have both publicly flirted with the idea of retirement this offseason, and we shouldn’t be surprised if both call it quits next spring. For now, they, along with perennial high-end QB2 Kirk Cousins, make up a rock solid group.
RB: Another rock-solid, above average group. Dalvin Cook and Nick Chubb will be the every week starters, while Melvin Gordon and James Robinson offer some upside for the year. Both Gordon and Robinson could see their roles significantly reduced this season with young, highly drafted backs waiting for their chance to dominate touches. For now, they offer flex value at the least.
WR: Steffon Diggs (28) and Keenan Allen (30) are yet another two fantasy studs for the Chairforce who may be on their way out of stardom sooner rather than later. Luckily, they have some depth at the league’s deepest position in Hollywood Brown, Robbie Anderson, Kendrick Bourne, and the rookie Wan’dale Robinson, who has already won the starting slot role for the Giants. Still, this roster continues to scream “WIN NOW!” to me.
TE: Dawson Knox, Hunter Henry, Harrison Bryant… The Tight End Wasteland continues. Hope you’re feeling lucky to pick the touchdown scorer among them, Logger.
DC: The price of having a true contender to start the year? Only a single 4th round pick in the coming draft. Jerry now has someone to commiserate with next spring while the rest of us are watching YouTube highlights. On the bright side, the Chairforce still owns all of their ’24 and ’25 picks, so there is still some flexibility here. Push even more chips into this year? Or let it ride and reevaluate for a teardown after the season?
Outlook: For this season at least, the Chairforce are a, well, force to be reckoned with. High end starters and plenty of solid backups should see this team safely into the playoffs. No one has a shorter title window, though.
4) Belmont Bukkake
Previous Season Finish: 8th
Roster flexibility: Good
QB: The Bukkake have a type, and that type is quarterbacks with tremendous rushing upside. Lamar and Kyler have the highest upside of any starting QB duo in this league. Should injury occur (or a flight missed due to a CoD double XP weekend), Trubisky will fill in as a capable backup. At least for the time being. If that QB room is being decided by thumb wrestling competitions, Trubisky should be fine.
RB: What was once the best position group in the league is now just merely among the best RB rooms in the league. Jonathan Taylor is a known quantity, but which of the depreciating options will join him in the starting lineup? Dobbins is coming back from season ending surgery LAST off-season and still isn’t full go. Antonio Gibson is on track to be a special teams ace. Rashaad Penny is as injury prone as he is talented, and has Kenny Walker breathing down his neck. This group is still a strength but has been trending in the wrong direction for a while now.
WR: The Bukake’s title hopes will likely rest in how this group can perform. Michael Thomas, Adam Thielen, Treylon Burks, Kenny Golladay, Chase Claypool, a freshly suspended-for-PEDs DeAndre Hopkins; can you trust anyone in this group? The talent is there on paper, but the reliability remains to be seen.
TE: Another team in the Tight End Wasteland, though there is an argument to be made for Godert to break through to the upper tier of TEs. I’m not going to make the argument, but someone else can. Evan Engram is another option with burst week potential.
DC: Brent has smartly loaded up on ’23 picks, with both their own and Oakwood’s 1sts as well as the Wiesher’s 2nd round pick, which is functionally a late 1st. This team could be another potential buyer if Brent thinks he can push for a title, but look for these picks to stay right where they are as the Bukake try to extend their contention window past the next two seasons.
Outlook: Lamar and Kyler and JT should keep this team very competitive. The ass-blasting was no doubt painful last season, but I expect the Bukake to get back on track this year.
5) Centerville Cheekburgers
Previous Season Finish: 6th
Roster flexibility: Good
QB: Plenty to like in this group. Stafford was a top 5 QB last season on his way to his first title, and Mac Jones was the most impressive of the rookie quarterbacks (although that’s not saying much.) Danny Dimes may be out of a job before the year is out, but for the time being he’s a decent fantasy player.
RB: This is the group that will make or break the Cheekburger’s season. Both Derrick Henry and Aaron Jones have been league winning players in the past, and if they can both regain their former production, we can crown Jim’s ass right now. AJ Dillon, Darrell Henderson, and Jamal Williams all offer some flex value on their own, and are must-starts if there are any injuries above them.
WR: Justin Jefferson is enough to make this a strong group, and remains one of the better rookie picks in terms of value in this league’s short history. The rest of the group are cheap options that Centerville will hope to breakout in new situations: Juju, Allen Robinson, Christian Kirk, Will Fuller, Allen Lazard, and Isaiah McKenzie could all see time in Centerville’s starting lineup this season. Jim will need two to become reliable weekly options; the rest is gravy.
TE: Zach Ertz and Robert Tonyan. Meh. Jerry, could you maybe share the wealth?
DC: Missing his 1st and 2nd this year and his 2nd next year. The Cheekburgers prefer to swap their picks for vets and it hasn’t quite paid off yet. Don’t be surprised if Jim is looking to move his ’24 1st before the trade deadline for that extra little push.
Outlook: The Cheekburgers have three potential league winners in Derrick Henry, Aaron Jones, and Justin Jefferson, and plenty of depth behind them. This team is a force to be reckoned with, though their title window may be shorter than we think if Henry and Jones fall off that age cliff.
6) Cassella Cucks
Previous Season Finish: 9th
Roster flexibility: Good
QB: Another very solid QB room, essential for a team with title hopes. Dak Prescott is now a full season removed from major leg surgery. It’s doubtful we see him return to the rushing production that helped make him the QB2 in 2019, but he should still be borderline top 12 for the foreseeable future. Tannehill and Davis Mills round out the room. Neither inspire much excitement, but both jobs should be safe for the year, and that’s enough.
RB: Speaking of coming back from injury, McCaffrey is finally looking ready to resume his bellcow role. Even if his workload is lightened, I’m sure the Cucks would welcome a 15+ game season from their most talented player. Josh Jacobs and CEH round out a RB room with as much risk and upside as any team in the league.
WR: This is a different looking group for the Cucks after shrewdly adding Chris Godwin and Brandin Cooks this offseason, two more risky players with massive injury concerns but tons of upside. Add them to AJ Brown and Robert Woods, two unequivocal #1 options for two run-first teams, as well as a wildcard in Kadarius Toney, and you have a strong WR room.
TE: At last, a team not wallowing in the Tight End Wasteland! Darren Waller has been a top three TE for two of the past three years and should be happy to have Adams taking some of the defensive pressure off of him. Cole Kmet is also a low key breakout candidate, and could be valuable if Waller has to deal with injuries again this year.
DC: The Cucks have some decent capital here, both this season and beyond. They have their own 1st this year, as well as a 2nd from Nick and a 3rd from Darren, which should both be at the top of their respective rounds. With no obvious hole in the roster nor inclination to ship these picks out if the injury bug strikes for a third straight season, look for the Cucks to actually use these picks next spring.
Outlook: This is a rock solid roster with tons of upside, but can haz injury luck?
The Frank Reynolds Tier – Upstarts and Wannabes
7) St. Henry Scallywags
Previous Season Finish: 3rd
Roster Flexibility: Okay
QB: Justin Herbert is a real threat to finish as the QB1 this year, even without a lot of rushing work. The problem comes after him. Jacoby Brissett will be a low level starting QB for the fantasy regular season, but likely will be worthless by the time the playoffs start. And Jimmy G is coming off shoulder surgery and has no clear path to playing time. That may change in the coming months, but there is a lot of uncertainty here.
RB: This is a decent group, led by last year’s RB4 Joe Mixon. James Conner had a career year as well, playing 15 games and scoring 18 touchdowns. Injury and touchdown regression could bring him back down to Earth. Outside of these two obvious starters, Tony Pollard, Cordarelle Patterson, and Dameon Pierce offer some flex appeal, or could lose their work to more talented backs.
WR: Cooper Kupp led the Scallywags to the playoffs last year, but is yet another candidate for regression this season. Outside of Kupp, it’s pretty uninspiring. Mike Williams and MVS will likely be inconsistent fantasy players with enough burst week potential to keep them in the starting lineup. OBJ, DPJ, and Corey Davis offer some depth, but this is a group that could underperform by a lot.
TE: George Kittle helps keep this roster from true mediocrity. He finished at TE4 last year despite missing three games, but will he see the same volume with Trey Lance under center? Njoku is a backup with some upside once Watson is out of suspension, but we’ve been saying that his entire career.
DC: With two 2nds this year and all of his picks in ’24 and beyond, Brandon has some ammo to work with if he decides to get off his ass and fix his QB issue.
Outlook: The Scallywags are no stranger to doubters and naysayers, so this ranking should cause no great outrage. I can’t help thinking that this team is due for some negative regression. If not, the Scallywags should be the favorite non-contender to crack the top six and make the playoffs again.
8) Oakwood Golden Gods
Previous Season Finish: 7th
Roster flexibility: Good
QB: Derek Carr, Matt Ryan, and Baker Mayfield make for a reliable, if uninspiring, group. Not great, not bad.
RB: Certainly the strength of this team. Ekeler is slated for another monster season in a suddenly potent Chargers offense, and Zeke likely isn’t as done as people want to think. Miles Sanders and Chase Edmonds are not projected for touches like the other two, but should see a few burst games at the least. And don’t forget about the Chiefs training camp superstar Isiah Pacheco!
WR: Remember how the Scallywags have Cooper Kupp and meh? This team is very similar: it’s Davante Adams, but with crap. At least one of Mecole Hardman, Laviska Shenault, Russel Gage, Devin Duverney, or (the other training camp superstar) Romeo Doubs will be starting for this team every week. The Golden Gods are going to be playing WR roulette for the foreseeable future.
TE: Tight End Wasteland! They call it Tight End Wasteland….. They’re all wasted! *Sick reference bro*
DC: No 1sts and three 2nds over the next two drafts means that Caleb is almost out of moves to make. Maybe there is a more reliable veteran option at WR to be found at the trade deadline. Assuming this team is still in the playoff picture. If there’s another team looking to join the ’23 draft sweepstakes, it’s probably this one.
Outlook: This roster is not a pushover, but at this point it feels like it’s being held together with duct tape, especially the WR room. With matchups against Nick, Kevin, and Darren in the first five weeks, the Golden Gods (like the Browns) need to get out to a fast start against inferior competition. If not, a mid season teardown may be in order. For the Golden Gods, that is.
9) Dayton Doughboys
Previous Season Finish: 10th
Roster flexibility: Good
QB: Every rookie quarterback struggles at least a little bit, right? Lawrence and Fields aren’t already busts, are they?
Nah, they’ll be fine. And with no third option at QB for the Doughboys, they had better be. Look for Zer to be aggressive in picking up QBs in free agency, unless he really plans on using his other two quarterback (and taxi) slots on Sam Ellinger and Bailey Zappe.
RB: This is a deep group of young dudes who haven’t quite been given the keys yet. Javonte Williams and Elijah Mitchell are both in heavy timeshares for the moment, but both could be league winners if given the volume. Mostert, James Cook, and Brian Robinson all have flex appeal and big upside as well. This could be a scary group before the year is done.
WR: More youth and upside, though maybe not as much as at RB. Ceedee Lamb has huge expectations this year despite failing to finish in the top 12 his first two years. Ditto for Rashod Bateman. Jerry Juedy and Elijah Moore are in ascending offenses but need to prove they deserve the volume their ADP would indicate. Past those four, Zer still has starting options in Hunter Renfrow, Julio Jones, and rookies Drake London and Skyy Moore. This is the deepest position group in the league, but may still be lacking top tier options.
TE: Kyle Pitts forced himself into the top tier of TEs his rookie season with over 1k yards receiving and somehow only one touchdown. The only thing that can hold this guy back is a subpar Falcons offense. Pat Muth should be a solid option as well.
DC: Zer traded away his 1st this year but otherwise owns all his picks. With such a deep roster of young talent, don’t be surprised to see him trade more picks to upgrade one or two positions and make a push for the playoffs this season.
Outlook: After a shocking tank job in our inaugural season, the Doughboys are finally looking ready to push for the playoffs. Most of his roster is still projected upside rather than proven production, however, so I have no choice but to place them in this tier. The quarterback room still needs to take big steps forward, but this team is set up to dominate in the near future if they do.
The Maniac Tier – Too Good for a Top Pick, Too Shitty to Hope for a Title
10) Chickasaw Chafed Chodes
Previous Season Finish: 13th
Roster Flexibility: Okay
QB: The Chafed Chodes, despite using significant draft capital on quarterback with the 1.03 in both our first two rookie drafts, is still looking for a high level player in this group. Tua and Zach Wilson both have been given the keys to their respective franchises but have failed to do much with the opportunity. Both franchises have tried their best to surround the young QBs with talent, and we will see if one or both can break out this season. Gardener Minshew remains a high level backup QB, but he makes a better poster above your bed than fantasy quarterback, at least until Jalen Hurts gets injured or some other team gets desperate for QB help.
RB: Breece Hall was the most coveted asset in this year’s rookie class and should be a high level starting RB before the season is over. Travis Etienne was drafted in the first round by the Jags last season, but according to current coaches will be the change of pace back for James Robinson? I don’t buy it. Both of the Chodes top two backs should be gaining touches and value as the season progresses. Damien Harris and Rhamondre Stevenson will battle each other for touches and tank each other’s value as long as they are both healthy, making neither a strong option at the moment.
WR: Very similar to the Doughboys, this group is led by an established veteran in Diontae Johnson and a plethora of young players with upside behind him. Michael Pittman, DJ Chark, Van Jefferson, Rondale Moore, Jameson Williams, Jahan Dotson, Michael Gallup; hell, even the immortal Bryan Edwards could see some playing time this year. Like the rest of the roster, this group feels like it’s a year away from coming into their own.
TE: TJ Hockenson, at 25 years old, is still a candidate to break out of the Wasteland, though with all of the WR talent the Lions have added the past two years, he may struggle to earn targets. Trey McBride, Donald Parham, and Dan Arnold will need TDs to be relevant.
DC: The Chafed Chodes own all of their picks for the next three years with nothing else, putting them in the middle of the pack for draft capital. Since he is lacking the roster for a title push, expect Kevin to either hold or buy more picks during the season.
Outlook: This team has been building hard through the draft the past two years. While there is a light at the end of the tunnel, they will need multiple players to break out in a big way to make the playoffs. I expect the Chafed Chodes, much like the Indiana Pacers, to stay in the middle of the pack for this year and maybe the foreseeable future.
11) Burrow of Brooklyn
Previous Season Finish: 12th
Roster Flexibility: Poor
QB: Joe Burrow was the biggest QB breakout last year, finishing as the QB7 and getting to the Super Bowl. With an improved offensive line and another year of experience for his talented pass catchers, Burrow and the Bengals are a good bet to shake off the Super Bowl slump that most losing teams suffer. Marcus Mariota is a cheap, solid second quarterback. The real question for this team is if Desmond Ridder or Malik Willis can earn some snaps towards the end of the year and have a chance to start for the ’23 season.
RB: Najee Harris was a usage monster last season, racking up over 380 touches en route to a RB3 finish. With little talent behind him on the Steelers roster, there’s no reason to think he can’t repeat that usage rate this year. Past Harris, this group is lacking in strong starting options, though Singletary, Moss, Gainwell, Marlon Mack, and rookie Kenneth Walker could all put up strong weeks throughout the year.
WR: Terry McLaurin, Jalen Waddle, and ARSB are all young, talented WRs with below average quarterbacks. Depth is lacking behind those three as well. Sammy Watkins and Parris Campbell are the strongest options, but do not inspire much excitement.
TE: Firmly in the Wasteland. Irv Smith Jr and Adam Trautman will likely need to score a lot of touchdowns to be relevant. Easily the weakest group on this roster.
DC: Not one for trading, it’s no surprise to see the Brooklyn (?)(c’mon Squirt) holding all of their picks with no extras. I see no reason to think that will change during the season. But who knows? Maybe Squirt will get frisky and try to upgrade his flex spots.
Outlook: Studs mixed with duds. Without trading, this team will likely need to hit big on another draft if they want to contend. With his recent draft record, that might not be a bad idea either! Will Squirt be patient enough to stay the course?
The Waitress Tier – Full on tanking
12) Anna Apollos
Previous Season Finish: 11th
Roster Flexibility: Okay
QB: Two lame duck QBs in Carson Wentz and Jared Goof. Both of these guys probably have their best years behind them and should be replaced after this season. For this year, at least, they should be solid enough to start every week. This position will need to be addressed sooner rather than later.
RB: The weak point of the roster. Cam Akers has a lot of upside in a potent Rams offense, but needs to prove he is ready for a heavy workload after his Achilles injury last offseason. Alexander Mattison is a strong option when Dalvin Cook is injured, but I wouldn’t be surprised to see him traded away if that happens. A plethora of rookies round out the group, but none should see heavy snaps to start the year.
WR: There’s some good young talent here. Tee Higgins finished as a WR2 despite missing three games, and Devonta Smith had a strong rookie year as well, although he doesn’t appear to be having a good camp. Maybe the beefy AJ Brown converted the Philly coaching staff into BMI truthers? Gabe Davis, Jalen Tolbert, Zay Jones, and Alec Pierce are all breakout candidates as well.
TE: This is the largest TE group in the league with SEVEN freaking players currently on the roster. Dalton Shultz or Tyler Higbee should get all of the starts, though both are Wasteland tight ends.
DC: No team has more draft capital than the Apollos. Two tasty 1sts and 2nds this year, and a whopping four 1sts in the ’24 draft. Expect this team to continue to look to add to this stockpile, and address the QB problem aggressively in the next two drafts.
Outlook: This team looks good enough to steal a few weeks from superior competition. However, I doubt that is their intention. Look for the Apollos to trade at least one of their starting QBs to a needy contender and solidify their position in the top three of the upcoming draft.
13) Ghanna Gargoyles
Previous Season Finish: 5th
Roster Flexibility: Poor
QB: Jalen Hurts is a really solid fantasy quarterback, finishing as the QB9 in 15 games last year. Whether the Eagles will commit to him past this year remains an open question, and makes him a risky hold for a team not looking to compete this year. The only other QB on the roster is Drew Lock, who is currently losing a position battle with Geno Smith. Yikes.
RB: D’andre Swift is a strong top option at running back as well, when he is healthy. With 13 games played in each of his first two years, Swift is another risky option for a tanking team. Much like the QB room, the RB room for the Gargoyles gets thin rather quickly after the top option. I don’t even feel like talking about them. Let’s move on.
WR: This group has some depth, at least. Amari Cooper, Darnell Mooney, Garrett Wilson, Tyler Lockett, and Jarvis Landry are all mid tier receivers who should be fine this year. Unfortunately, there’s little else worth looking at past these five.
TE: Albert O and Cameron Brate are two players with new opportunity but little history of production. Wasteland, it is.
DC: A disappointing stash of picks for a tanking team. Two 1sts and a 2nd, all from contenders this year, and Brent’s 1st next year. There’s still a few valuable veteran assets to trade away if Nick wants to add to this pile.
Outlook: Wow, what a depressing roster recap. The Gargoyles are clearly in a transitory period, and the sell off of talent may still not be done. Is Nick up for the work of turning this roster around? An empty bench and taxi slot, as well as recently injured Tim Patrick still not on IR, tells me that Nick is too depressed to do the dirty work of picking up longshot rookies for his bench. Don’t worry buddy, the worst part is over. And look at the bright side! At least you’re not…
The Rickety Cricket Tier – Dogshit
14) Wiesbaden Wichsers
Previous Season Finish: 14th
Roster Flexibility: Nonexistent
QB: Jameis Winston, Sam Darnold, Kenny Pickett, Jordan Love. If more than one of these four is starting in a given week, Darren should feel lucky.
RB: Tyler Allgeire is currently listed as his RB1. Not good. At least there are a bunch of rookies here.
WR: There’s a few interesting young players here, though I doubt they will make much noise this year. Josh Palmer, Nico Collins, Chris Olave, George Pickens, and Kahlil Shakir. At least half of these guys should increase in value this year.
TE: Wasteland.
DC: Only three 1sts over the next two years, and he’s missing his own this year. But the Wichsers have the largest collection of late round picks of anyone, so that should count for something. Look for Darren to try and package these picks to move up in the coming drafts, lest he run into the Chafed Chodes problem of too many picks and not enough roster spots.
Outlook: This was ugly. A few interesting rookies but the Wichsers are years away from even thinking about contention. A potentially winless year ahead.